Q & A Table of Contents
C'mon, Steve, Does it Really Work?
From: Emma -- Queensland, Australia
Question: Have you had any 'negotiation failures' where interest-based negotiation techniques failed to get you what you wanted?
If so could you please describe what went wrong that frustrated your effort to get what you wanted and in hindsight what technique would have been more appropriate?
Also, in dealing with hostage negotiations where establishing a long-term relationship obviously is not an interest what technique do you recommend?
Response: The failed negotiations I can recall are almost entirely the fault of my own failure to use interest-based negotiation techniques. Not listening properly, lack of preparation, allowing emotion to cloud my judgement have been the usual culprits when I have come away dissatisfied
with the result of negotiation.
Hostage situations are exactly the ones where establishing a relationship is most important. Unless there is an intrinsic relationship developed between hostage takers and 'the good guys', a relationship that enables the parties to develop good communication and trust, the odds are against a favourable outcome.
It is worth noting that the length of time a relationship is to endure varies with the negotiation; however, every negotiation is based on the existence of some kind of relationship between or among the parties. You may not want to become 'friends for life' with hostage-takers -- or folks with whom you do more civilized business. Nonetheless, unless you treat people with due consideration of their interests, your negotiation is likely to be unsatisfactory.
One element of hostage negotiations that does form an important part of the 'real world' is that in a rather large proportion of cases, once trust has been established for the duration of the negotiation, it may disappear rather abruptly once either party (hostage-taker or hostage-rescuer) gets what it wants.
The apparent theme of your question appears to be an attempt to find ways to discredit interest-based negotiation as an all-round panacea. All-round panaceas do not exist; however some approaches may tend to make more sense than others. There are many other ways that people negotiate: bullying, lying, etc. These techniques can certainly serve the immediate interests of parties taking those approaches. However, there is an old American expression that puts this in perspective: 'If you cheat me once, shame on you. If you cheat me twice, shame on me."
Good luck and good negotiating, Steve.
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