Q & A Table of Contents
Passed Over at Work
From: Walter, Florida
Question: I have been in the environmental, health and safety field for fifteen years. I started out as an engineer, then senior engineer, now lead engineer. Recently, a managerial position in our department became available. I was sure that after all these years of experience, intra-company management classes, and the fact that I had actually supervised employees, that I would be next in line for the job. However, I was made aware very quickly that the staff did not want to work for me.
I was surprised that the staff was so opposed to my style. I have always been both a global thinker and detailed thinker. As I look back on the ten years of working in the same department, I remember having some creative ideas that the staff rejected. There have been times when I have gotten angry because the staff was quick to reject my ideas. Once I revealed the anger in my expression and voice, all possible negotiation for the idea was generally over. This has been very frustrating to me because I have some good ideas. I've talked with a Human Resource advisor about the issue. She believes that my enthusiasm and intensity on issues cause people to be turned off. This again is frustrating because I'm driven by passion and determination. I've been successful as a technical expert so far in my career, however, now my career has become somewhat static. I've always been able to grasp abstract concepts quickly. Once I understand the concept and have the facts to support it, I hold tight to my conviction regarding the matter (whatever it is). Sometimes, conficts arise when the the person with an opposing idea has not done their homework. Sometimes because others have not done their homework, I get labeled as being too hard with which to negotiate.
I want to be an effective person and employee. I realize that this comes from building good relationships with people. As a matter of fact, I have several harmonious personal relationships with friends because we accept each other without needing to change or control one another. We have differing views on issues without conflict. I think that it is because we trust and believe in each other enough that we never feel like we are going to lose anything.
I really do not know how I could have that kind of relationship with the people with whom I work. However, maybe there is another technique that I could utilize that could also be effective. Do you have any suggestion? What steps should I take to change this short circuit that I've created in my career?
Response:
Dear Walter,
The problem you present must be driving you slightly batty. Your commitment to the issues on the job is something for which you deserve reward and affirmation rather than rejection and the feeling of being ignored.
Healing existing relationships is not an easy task. However, several ideas come to mind:
1. The first is that you should explore changing your work situation: perhaps there is another company for which you should work, another division within your existing company.
2. Another possibility depends on your capacity to take time out from your current career. Can you afford a year or so studying in order to enhance your marketable skills -- within your existing company, in another firm, or in a different business?
3. If you were to take a sabbatical, that might also give you time to 'catch your breath' as well as give your workplace colleagues, both superiors and subordinates, to realize what they're missing when you're not there. It could also give you a chance to explore the overall context of your professional focus, give you a chance to 'chill out' and get more relaxed about the issues troubling your current workplace situation.
4. Staying within your existing work environment will require some serious effort on your part to heal troubled relationships and enhance those relationships that are promising. Within this range of choices I would recommend that you take an interest in each individual with whom you interact. You can't be all over each of them, smothering them in 'warm and fuzzy' attention.
Rather, a more subtle approach should be undertaken: The first thing to do is to learn what is important to each individual: the ego gratification of getting their name attached to a particular solution? being taken seriously within meetings? more rewards -- financial, title, other resources, etc.? You need to be an ear rather than a mouth -- one of the hardest things in the world.
You need to ask yourself whether you care who gets credit for what sorts of accomplishments, whether your ego makes it hard to share credit with others. Most likely, from the sound of your note, you are a person whose contributions are quite significant. The question is, how much you care about who knows the ideas are yours?
When people dig in their heels -- you or somebody else -- they are fighting for position rather than focusing on solving the problem. When folks feel they are being judged, they get defensive and thus harder to move.
Walter, I am impressed that you have concluded that you have created your career's 'short circuit'. You may be overstating your culpability, but that certainly indicates a depth of character in your willingness to look at yourself and not just at others.
You may derive some ideas from the quotations we send out for free every ten days from our website offer useful ideas.
Your self-exploration, your research about alternatives may be the most effective steps you can take. When you're up against a brick wall there are several choices: keep banging into it to knock it down, try to take it down brick by brick, or look for a different direction to travel.
Please keep me up to date on your progress. I wish you good luck and much satisfaction.
Steve.
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