Q & A Table of Contents
How Can I Negotiate With The Opposite Sex?
From: Rafael, Barcelona, Spain
Question: I need help about how to be a good negotiator with people of the opposite sex, that is to say women. I mean any issues that may be useful for me.
Response: Negotiating with members of the opposite sex can occur in many different circumstances. At work, certain sets of issues may apply: the corporate hierarchy, professional competence, and knowledge. Many male executives would be lost without the support of their female assistants -- who might very well be better qualified than the men for whom they work.
In social circumstances, different issues may influence male/female negotiations.
There is, however, a fundamental focus that is equally important whether you are negotiating business issues or personal relationships: you need to focus on the interests of the negotiating parties. We live in a multi-cultural world. Whether we are facing people from a different country, a corporation with a different culture, or members of the opposite sex, unless we focus on why each negotiating party is pursuing her/his objective, communication can be extremely difficult.
The central core of good communication is to recognize that were given two ears and one mouth -- and should use them in that ratio. Rather than focusing on the ideas we want to present to other people, we should understand our own interests and then spend a substantial proportion of our communication trying to learn more about their interests. Asking questions that only need a 'yes' or 'no' answer is not good communication. We need to ask open-ended questions in order to enable ourselves to learn.
So it is certainly reasonable to assume that men may have different negotiation styles from women -- but not all men from all women. It is more important to realize that, unless you are genuinely interested in learning what the other person cares about, no communication will take place and negotiation will not yield a mutually satisfactory result.
Good luck,
Steve
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