Q & A Table of Contents
How Should One Ask Questions?
From: Amal, Jeddah, Saudi Arabia
Question: I am a registered nurse. I have a lecture to give on negotiation and I was interested to learn as I read that questioning is one of the most important skills in negotiation. Can you kindly give me some information about questioning?
Response: Information is the fundamental asset in negotiation. When we negotiate I learn what you can offer me and you learn what I can offer you. We also learn what different people find troublesome, boring, or irrelevant to their decision-making.
The best way to gain information is to ask questions. Although there is no such thing as a dumb question, there can be unwise answers.
Figuring out what information a negotiator needs to derive to reach wise conclusions is a crucial part of preparing for the negotiation process. Consider what you know about the folks with whom you'll be negotiating, their constituents (the people who are depending on the results they achieve), and other stakeholders. Of course you should also consider your own constituents and stakeholders upon whom your actions may have an impact. By giving thought about all these issues, you will discover what information you need to gain -- and what questions you need to ask.
There is a whole additional reason that good questioning is a crucial element of wise negotiation; asking people questions is a sign of respect. You are demonstrating you are interested in what another party has to say, that you take them seriously.
People who think negotiation requires they begin with all guns firing miss the point. They are negotiating with the other party because they have reason to believe/hope that collaboration between themselves and the other negotiators will yield mutual gains. Attacking their negotiation counterpart's ideas may also be construed as an attack on their ego.
Thus asking questions is a crucial mechanism for establishing mutual respect and atmosphere that can lead to cooperation in resolving problems.
Good luck with your lecture,
Steve
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